Final

Today was a bittersweet day for our family.

If I've learned anything over the last two years about losing someone you love-it's that once that head stone is placed, well, things seem final. 

Over.

Done.

Finished.

Forever.

And though you know these things in your heart long before the grave stone is set, once you see it in person, it seems as if it just drives those feelings home.

32 weeks ago today, I had to make the hardest phone call I've ever in my life had to make.  I had to tell Steve that his Daddy had passed away.   Every Wednesday around 10:30 a.m, I flash back to that cold rainy day, as if it were yesterday. 

Time does have a way of lessoning the pain of losing a loved one.  I don't think the pain ever completely goes away, but I think time helps mend the heart some.  It's still hard to drive by Dad's old apartment and look over, expecting to see his truck, only to see his old parking spot empty.  When I get a great email that I want to pass on, out of habit, I usually start typing Daddy's email address into the "To" line.  The other day, I went to call my own Dad and while trying to punch in "Dad" into my address book, my Dad's number came up, but so did the entry that said "Daddy Jack."  My heart stopped.  

It's little things like that that make us miss Daddy even more.

I think today was a mixture of all emotions.  We were happy to finally see Daddy's stone placed.  And yet so very sad to think it's complete.  We are so pleased with the way the stone came out (Steve's sister Mechelle designed it).  Yet sad that it had to be made in the first place. 

As we were leaving the cemetary, Tanner commented on how she loved the vase that sits on the right side of the stone.  She informed me that we needed to get flowers to put in it and that we needed to be like Grandma (my Mom) and "take care of Pappa Jack's grave."  She informed me that we needed to "get some green styrofoam to put in the bottom of the vase to hold the flowers and that we need to change them once a month so Pappa Jack would always have pretty flowers on his stone."  I love that kid's sweet heart.  And I can pretty much garuntee that we'll be doing those very things. 

So it's finished.  We are done dealing wtih funeral stuff.

From here on out we'll visit the grave often and cherish the memories in our hearts.

We love you and miss you Daddy Jack. 

Way up.