How Quickly Things Change

I'm a planner. I like to know what's going to happen when. I suppose to some extent it's a control issue, but I like to just say I'm a planner and leave it at that. I hate when I have a plan formulated and then something comes up and the plan has to change. I especially hate when plans have to change at the last minute, which is exactly what happened yesterday afternoon.

As I mentioned in the earlier post, we had a "Care Plan Meeting" with the Social Worker at the rehab facility (they don't call them nursing homes anymore, by the way). We formulated a plan, talked to Steve's Mom, explained the plan and left. We felt confident in what was planned out and felt as if we were doing the right thing.

Yesterday afternoon, Steve and I met for lunch and had a great time. We didn't talk about his mother once, which was very nice. I got back to the office and a half hour later my phone rang. It was my Melissa, my Sister-in-law, asking if I talked to Steve (or Steven, as they call him).

Come to find out, the Dr didn't like our plan and was advising that his Mom not be released. Sure would have been nice for the Dr to say that the day before in our meeting!! Even though the Dr wasn't at the meeting, he could have told the Social Worker what his recommendation was! This totally threw a wrench in our plans! GRR!!!

Steve, Melissa and I were all three pretty dang upset about this change in plans. Since it's not my Mom, it's easier for me to handle. And even though Steve's mom drives him absolutely up the wall with her behavior, it's still his mother and it's still upsetting for him. To top it off, Melissa isn't married and has no kids, so I tend to be her sounding board as well. (I told Steve last night that I'm his wife and I'm Melissa's husband!) Plus, I've worked in the medical field and I have a better understanding of the different medical lingo.

Steve asked me to call the Social Worker at the Rehab place and talk to her. I ended up becoming the go-between for Steve, Melissa and the Social Worker. I don't mind it at all, but then there are times when it becomes overwhelming. I hate being the bearer of bad news, especially to my husband. And yet that's what I had to do yesterday afternoon. Man, that was tough.

Together, we formulated yet another plan. Steve and I went out to the rehab place, talked to the Social Worker (who has been great by the way) and then left. She would be the one to break the news to Mom that she wasn't going home like we told her the day before. We knew she was going to be highly pissed off, so the Social Worker said she'd take us out of it and tell her herself. Good plan!

Plus, by time this all came to a head, all three of us were crying and way, way emotional. It was best for his Mother NOT to see us this way. Steve went home to drink a beer, I went to Tanner's first softball game and just kept my sunglasses on so no one would see my smeared mascara or my puffy eyes.

I called my boss on the way home from the game and apologized for being so emotional in the office. He was so sweet and told me to take today off and do whatever needed to be done. He said "Work will always be here, family won't." I thought that was great and really appreciated his thoughtfulness.

Steve and I both slept in this morning, which was great and much needed. I've been on the phone and on the computer since getting up. We are trying to find a long term care facility for her, plus trying to figure out what our next step is as far as her level of care goes. Meanwhile, Steve is working on getting in touch with an attorney to get the process of legal guardianship started. (His sister is going to be the Power of Attorney.)

Steve said last night that part of what makes this whole situation hard is how quickly things changed. I mean, Holy cow! One minute we had a plan in place, the next, we were being told that plan was wrong and we needed to figure out a new one immediately. It was a lot to take in all at once and it was hard not to get frustrated with everything going on.

Thankfully, we've been working with wonderful people at the Rehab place and that makes it a lot easier. They have been very patient and very helpful throughout this whole process. I'm also very thankful that Steve and his sister are in complete agreement with what needs to happen and therefore, there's no arguing amongst them. I'm thankful that Mom is going to get the help she needs and that there is maybe hope on the horizon. I'm thankful that Steve and I are married and that he's not having to go through this by himself.

We have learned a TON in the last 24 hours and I'm confident that we've made the right decision and that somehow, this will all work out. I'm confident that God allowed these least minute change of plans to happen for a reason, even though I'm not sure what that reason is just yet (and heck, He might just be teaching me to be more flexible in my plans!). We've got what seems to be a long, hard road ahead, but I'm confident in the end, we will all be stronger for it.