Getting Ready

Final preparations for Steve's surgery is underway. He's had his "last meal," he's got his bag packed, the bills for this week have been paid, groceries bought, and now we just sit and wait for tomorrow. Those who know me well know I'm not a patient person. Tomorrow will not come soon enough-for either of us.

All along Steve has acted like he's ok with the surgery and not scared or worried in the least. I have tried to be strong and act like it's not a huge deal and act as if I have confidence that things are going to be peachy afterwards. We both lost it tonight.

After I got home from the grocery store, I was very stressed out. I've been that way all day long-just trying to mentally prepare myself for the next few weeks. (I've always said I can handle everyone else's crisis, just not my own-and boy is that true!) Steve asked me what was wrong and I finally climbed in the chair on his lap and we both just held each other and cried. It felt sooooo good. Like he said, it had been a long time in coming. Although I feel really selfish for voicing my fears to Steve when he's the one having the surgery, it felt really good to finally get it out. We cried for probably half an hour and to some extent, I feel better.

This is one of those times that I really miss my family. I want so bad for my mom to be here tomorrow. There's just something about having my mom around when things get stressed. Steve is close to his family, but it's not like the closeness we share with my side of the family. My brother and his wife were trying to figure out a way to come down, but it just didn't work out. Oh well.

I hope this surgery works. I pray, pray, pray that it does. I hope it relieves the pain and makes my hubby a "whole new man" like the Dr says it will. Please pray for us over the next couple of weeks. It's not going to be easy, but with God's help we will get through it.

Thanks!! I'll post an update as soon as I can. Off to shower and to bed. I'm freaking worn out.