Jumbled Thoughts

Well, yesterday and today we finished up cleaning out Dad's apartment. The girls turned the key back over to the manager this afternoon. It was bittersweet. In a way, it's a good thing that the cleaning part is done. At the same time though, it seems like things are really final. Steve and I were talking today and though parts of these last two weeks have seemed so real, there have also been parts where it seems like we're in a dream and we're gonna wake up and things are all going to be ok. Today, that dream was broken and reality has really begun to sink in.
Maybe this all sounds dramatic to some, but I'm telling you, until you've been there-you can't imagine what it's like to lose a parent (or in my case a parent-in-law). Steve and his Dad had some rough years awhile back. They didn't speak for almost 14 years-you can imagine-there were some issues. But those issues were all pushed to the side two years ago and they've been close ever since. I didn't always like or agree with his Dad's choices, but I loved him with all my heart regardless. It's hard to think of him as gone. Driving to the grocery store, it's a habit to look over into the apartment complex and see his big white Bronco sitting there. It's weird now to do that and not see the Bronco. He used to forward us emails ALL.THE.TIME. Do you have any idea how many times over the past two weeks I've started to forward an email to him that I thought he'd just love? I've wondered why a lot over the past couple of weeks-of course we all have. I know that we'll never know the reason why, but it doesn't stop us from wondering. I've been told that the healing can "begin" so to speak now that the cleaning is done. I hope that's true. We are getting together with his sisters on Friday and are going to start going through paperwork and stuff like that. We have a TON of stuff to go through-his Daddy saved everything....and I do mean everything......you can't walk in my living room or my garage without stepping on a box or a picture. It should be a fun time Friday though-hearing the stories that go along with the pictures, reminiscing over trinkets and stuff from their childhood. I'm looking forward to it. And Unkie-if your reading this-you might be proud-I'm going to make brunch of some sort for us on Friday. Won't be nearly as fancy or good as yours, but hey, we can't all be like you! :) Ok, I'm going to bed. Sorry this is so jumbled-that's how my thoughts tend to be right now and honestly, it took way too much energy to try and separate things into paragraphs. More later.